it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
