Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
