I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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