week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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