If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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