I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
