fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
