I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Even my vagina gasped.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
