And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
