no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize