This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
God I need to hump something, right now.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
