Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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