Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
we should paint friendship bongs
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