Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
