He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
