she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
