Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
did you just send me my own nude
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
