What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize