Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
