things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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