do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
sex in a hospital.. check
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
