Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
