wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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