A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
