Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
should my penis look like a turkey
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
