my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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