i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
