He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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