Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
