butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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