I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize