im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i think im in europe. pls send help
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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