whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
