Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so let's talk penis.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
