I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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