I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
