I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
