so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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