i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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