Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
