I think I won the penis lottery.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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