we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
