Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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