I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
