how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
