Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
