PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
