Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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