haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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