yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
