96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Girls should come with a carfax report
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
