i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
