i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
