from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
