Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
