I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
