im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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