OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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