Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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