Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We just shotgunned beers for America
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
